My mentor, my hero, a feminist in her own right, a trailblazer….
I am forever grateful for all you were and continue to be, I will do my best, my part, to put into practice all you have instilled and taught me.
To always help, to work hard, to be proud of myself, my family, and my community. To never forget those that came before us, to never lose my zest, my determination, to be independent, to have grit, to educate myself, to be part of the solution, to keep my faith, to love, to forgive, to laugh, to never mind the naysayers; to keep going, no matter what.
A woman can be whatever the heck she chooses to be, there are no limits.
You were EXTRAordinary
Thank you,
I love you
Your granddaughter,
Pamela
These are the words I used when sharing my grandmother’s obituary on my social media FB.
Bride Martin was 92 when she passed away on October 24, 2021. My family and I grew up right next door to her. You could say that we had a special bond, however when I think of how many people knew her, be it from schoolwork, recreational activities, charity work, community events, volunteerism, tourism, family, extended family, neighbours, and friends, it occurred to me that we shared her. Or should I say, she shared herself, her gifts, talents, her education, time, home, food, knitted goods, and more, with all she met.
My grandmother lost her father when she was only 10 and took on a leadership role within her family. She lost a child due to cancer, one of a set of twins. All in a time when women’s rights were not a concept and mental health was not a normalized part of healthy living. Admitting any mental health problems back then was a sign of weakness, shameful and hidden. Strong intelligent and artistic women were not typically encouraged to spread their wings outside of the stereotypes of the time.
I have learned many things from my “Nan”, and one was to take care of yourself and be self-sufficient. Don’t wait to be rescued by a charming prince – foolishness!
Fertilize your interests, whatever they may be, and never mind the barriers or glass ceilings that you may encounter along the way.
To some you may not be liked, you may be too bossy, too strong-minded. You may be triggering to some men and women to be so persistent in pursuing goals outside of the stereotypical and generational norms of the time.
It’s more than ok to toot your own horn and to value yourself.
Women can be mothers, wives AND have careers, be leaders, innovators, and have personal hobbies outside the home. The ultimate cleanliness of the home is not necessarily the greatest badge of honour a woman may wish to achieve. It is more than ok to want more.
For generations, women commonly belonged in the kitchen, and a good God-loving wife obeyed her husband and stood behind him. Having greater aspirations and then the guts to speak up, to not give up no matter the local gossip and judgments, was not the norm.
My grandmother always helped whoever needed it and never held grudges. She moved on, and never stayed down or stuck. She was very well respected for her intellect and her practicality. She was tough with her love. She always had a solution and had a way of getting things done.
She could connect with anyone. And she could also say no.
Nutrition- My grandmother was very hands-on at home as she raised 8 children (one child from a set of twins died from cancer at age 7), cooked delicious meals, tended a vegetable garden, raised animals, and foraged regularly as an avid berry picker. She preferred home-cooked meals and never went for much sugar.
Practicality and personal enjoyment- She knit, sewed, crocheted, hooked mats, painted, wrote stories, poetry.
Spirituality- She was devoted to her faith and was very involved with the church.
Physical Activity- She walked most everywhere she could. Berry picking was great exercise in walking, bending, and squatting. She used her clothesline regularly. When my grandfather passed she kept up the tradition of cutting a Christmas tree each year, bringing it home, and setting it up by herself.
Career- She was a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse and the Principal for a period of time. In addition, she was the lead of many non-profit organizations and committees to better our town, create jobs, assist the future of the youth as well as place importance on the preservation of our heritage.
Fun-She also enjoyed dance, a good laugh, and a stiff drink or two
My dad says she was strict and stern, never much of a cuddler, I guess to get things accomplished, and in a male-dominated society, the softer side was hidden and protected. That seems to have changed when the grandchildren came on the scene. We must have softened her a little 🙂
Everyone has a perspective from their experiences. I am grateful and blessed to have had this change maker, this influence in my life in the form of an EXTRAordinary woman, my grandmother.
